Friday, October 21, 2011

When it gets cold...

Once upon a time I was chilly as can be so I uttered these words,
"I want to own a polar bear and train it to hug me so that I will be warm and happy."

Mom looked at me calmly and replied, "Why not just buy a coat?" 

Why not, indeed?!? Oh I know cause that is boring and lame!

However, I think Mom is right on this one. Two separate situations led me to this conclusion
{neither of which was the fact that owning a polar bear is beyond unrealistic, I'm a dreamer. What can I say?} 

Situation Numero Uno: 

Al Gore is pretty sure that Polar Bears are drowning. . .I recently watched a documentary of his in which he looked like this. . . a lot
Now I'm not hatin' on him cause what he had to say made some sense. I got love for the dude but I'm not in love with all of him. Half the film was him boowhooin' it up because he didn't get to be President.
Seriously Mr. Gore?? Are you kidding me with this?? It's not as if you are in Kindergarten and someone stole your juice box. There was an election, where thousands of people voted, you lost. 
I'd say it's about time you get over it, if not for yourself, do it for the polar bears :) 
 This is one of the images he shows in his little video. 

"Ummm, excuse me Mr. Polar Bear, I don't want to bother you because I realize you are drowning and stuff, but would you like to come live in Missouri and hug me? Take your time getting back to me, you have about 5 good feet of ice left to sit on. No rush."

Bubble Busted! 

Situation Numero Dos:

Apparently polar bears aren't that nice. 

Katie's head would fit in that jaw, just sayin' 

My head is a bit rounder than most so I may be safe, but still. 

I hear they have tempers and I guess they will eat a human if the occasion arises. 

Bubble Busted Again!

New plan: Look into temperament of grizzly, black, and panda bears. 

Coats-Are-For-Losers Over and Out


  1. I am glad I take time to read these. You are so funny! :)

  2. Thanks Andrea, I am so glad I could make you giggle :)