Monday, January 2, 2012

Lessons Learned in Twenty-Eleven

I have learned many things in the past year.
Some lessons were much more meaningful than others.
And I would like to share a few with ya'll.

Here goes:

*hair thickening shampoo is a scam, I repeat A SCAM! My hair is still skinny as ever.

*School. It's not so scary after all. Expensive, yes. Hard, sometimes. Worth it? Definitely. 
*Babies are the best thing in the world, better still when you are not the one expected to actually birth said baby. I have seen enough to know that I will be begging for an epidural by week 29. I'm a wuss, what can I say?

*Infomercials were created for the weak of heart, do not give in. If any commercial has the words, "But wait! There's more!!" Flashing anywhere on the screen then quickly close your eyes, cover your ears with your hands, and hum a relaxing tune. Or find something heavy to chuck at the t.v. <----this option is only for the independently wealthy (such as myself) t.v.s don't grow on trees ya know! 

*Flossing doesn't seem so terrible when you are faced with the alternative of needing to have 6 dental appointments of doom within a 36 day span of time. Floss is your friend. Embrace the floss.

*Who needs soda? Ummm no one! No soda for the entire year of 2011 and I feel great. I will admit that sometimes I miss Coke like it were an old boyfriend or something, then I remember that all of my old boyfriends were jerks and I feel just fine. 

*Sometimes Best Friends leave. That is why God created families. If you have chocolate, sisters, and hope you can get through anything. Its a proven fact.

*Big brothers. If you don't have one, adopt one. Nuff said. Just not mine, cause I am not sharing.

*If you think you are somehow not worthy of happiness then I implore you, please think again. 
This next part is mostly for the females: Sometimes boys will make you feel like garbage
(actually they make you feel like the slime left behind after the garbage has been trampled on by angry man elephants. The elephants in this scenario are male because girls are too dainty to trample, even when they are pachyderms) If ever a boy makes you feel this way two things should be remembered: 1. You need a man, not a boy. 2. He is not the man for you. 

*Exercise ROCKS! It makes you sweaty, happy, skinny, and snappy. 

*You are braver than you think.

*Money isn't everything.

*The laughter of giggling baby girls while you smother them with kisses, is. 

*Speaking of kisses, you really shouldn't just pass those out to anybody. It's not gum people. Gum you can share with the masses, your lips on the other hand, not so much.

*Happiness is a choice, choose it.

Some of the hardest things I will ever have to do in my life, I did this year. I didn't do them alone, I am not sure that I could have. Thank heavens for family and friends and the ability to start anew. 

Hello 2012, I think we are going to be good pals you and I. You seem like a proper bloke. Cheers!

New Me Over and Out