Thursday, July 7, 2011
Hello, My name is Cassie and I live in a fort
You know when you're a child and your dad builds you a tree house, you get really excited and find things to put in it from your bedroom and kitchen and such. Stuff like a mirror and mismatching cups (in case you get thirsty of course) and a few books, maybe an old rug and crates to use as tables (if you would like to entertain guests) Well that's what my house is like only on a much larger scale.
My parents and siblings and I built off of an existing building 5 summers ago. It is a 4 bedroom (5 if you count the sheet-domain that we threw together for my brother-in-law, we don't) 3 bathroom, 2 kitchen, 2 1/2 living room home. . .fort, whatev
We weren't exactly rollin' in the doe when we started the construction on said fort so we did what we do best. . .got creative. There is a saying that floats around my family, it should be a joke but considering how closely we live by it I would say it's more like a lifestyle choice at this point, "It's not right, but it works!"
Taking this motto into close consideration we decided to forgo sheetrock/drywall/gypsum (why does that stuff have so many names? It should adopt Seal's way of thinking. . .I mean that dude didn't even bother with a last name, and things worked out for him) for walls and ceilings and went with OSB instead. Now all of you home-improvement buffs may know what that is but for everyone else I will include a short description: My dad calls OSB bologna board and for good reason, the process of making bologna includes but is not limited to taking random animal parts and smashing them together in a highly processed slab of "meat", similarly the men (I assume they are men, I guess they could be women but I can't imagine that job would be copacetic to good hair) who make OSB slap a bunch of random wood parts together to form a solid 4X8 sheet. So we used wood for the ceilings and for the walls and upstairs we went ahead and used it for the floors too. Who knew OSB was so versatile?
Once we framed and threw up the wood we pursued the idea of paint. Home Depot and Lowes have this program where if the associate working in paint is an idiot and tints the paint incorrectly they mark it way down and try their best to make it a color that does not resemble poop. We bought mis-tint paint by the 5 gallon bucket. Walking through our house is like walking through a bag of skittles. My Mom's room is a teal color, the great room is beige, Granny's room is goldenrod, the living room is a couple of shades of blue, both upstairs bathrooms are pink. My room has white walls (SHOCKER) but it has a salmon colored ceiling. . .I know you're jealous but really there is no way your house could be this cool, so don't even try. My favorite are the rooms that for one reason or another just didn't get painted, or primed, yep they are just wood. . .good ol plywood, so homey. (especially if you are a bird, or a squirrel. . .in some cases a kitten)
Unlike most tree houses we have electricity and running water, we are fancy that way!! A draw back of the fort would have to be the bugs. You see we live in the woods, DEEP in the woods. And since our house is made entirely of wood the bugs sometimes become confused as to what is theirs and what is ours. I'm not gonna lie the ants pretty much run the show downstairs, the spiders aren't picky they occupy the whole joint and as summer rolls around the wasps start to swarmin' ahhhh living in a fort is EXCITING! There are the insects that you square your shoulders and clench your teeth, grab a big shoe and attack. Then there are the "Big Ones", the ones that you square your shoulders and clench your teeth and scream for a big brother to dispose of.
Another awesome perk about the shack I live in comes when it rains. If you are one of those people who love to stand in the rain and feel the cool water splashing on your face and soaking your clothes and hair then have I got a treat for you?! If you find water relaxing, freeing, or peaceful. Please don't hesitate to spend the night in a thunderstorm. We can have all that while never leaving the comfort of my bedroom. The window leaks. . .a lot. To fix it we would have to finish the half erected deck that is directly above my window (don't hold your breath) so instead I put some towels (ugly ones that I didn't like anyways) on my window sill. "IT'S NOT RIGHT, BUT IT WORKS!"
The joys of living in the woods in a tree house are endless really.
Fort-Dweller Over and Out